Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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