apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
