I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
