Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
