i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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