mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize