I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
