call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
