Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
