Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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