Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
