I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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