Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
