At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
