I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
