Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
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