I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
