i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
porn star boner night. come get it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
