My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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