I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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