What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
