We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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