so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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