What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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