I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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