I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
