Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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