I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
two words...techno handjob
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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