I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
