when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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