I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
