dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
