I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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