just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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