I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
