just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
