Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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