im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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