I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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