I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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