The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
