I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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