I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize