It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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