I think I just saw someone hide a body.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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