Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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