I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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