i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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