and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
