apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
