My brain says no but my pants say off.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
