wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
