you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
