We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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