I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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