it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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