ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I bet he comes in French.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
