Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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