hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
