she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
