Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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