The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
